Group time, my heart was broken. A 7th grade youth when asked, “What are you looking for in a husband?” replied “I want a faithful man, but that is not likely!” As I stood monitoring the group, I was moved to a seat. The weight of her statement settled in and changed my entire disposition. It wasn’t sarcasm, but dispare; the hopelessness found in her observations, investigations, and teachings.
This young lady has lost hope! I thought of my sister and the many little girls that dream about their wedding day, having thoughts and visions of their husband; Prince Charming, no doubt! They envisioned the perfect day and seen, topped of with a kiss that will begin an eternity of bliss! But now, many youth might have a different vision. One of compromise, not in love, but out of settling for that which they assume to be the norm. A sad reality.
Knowing that this hopelessness woul lead to her settling for anything. Because of her fears, she will be succeptable to preditors and undeveloped works. The preditors is the one looking for vulnerability and a lack of maturity. Her fears will identify him as an option because her belief is that all others will be the same. He will constantly add to his stable, making notch after notch, dreaming her more like a “Bottom B—-” than a Wife. As long as he is cute, he will do. She will also open the door to undevloped works. The undeveloped works challenge the bond in that they are absent of the maturity required and not ready for the responsibilities that come with the covenant. Their eyes still wander, and their faithfulness is seasonal and situational.
Her dream is unhappiness. She has mentally prepared herself for a life of dissastifaction. She has marked in her journey, the pain of infidelity, and accepted that her marital bond will be absent of trust and filled with heartache. Her dreams are that of extra marital affairs and outside children and child support, and living with the pressure of having a covenant that is only as binding as being chosen to a team in a pick up game at the park. She know that her night will be spent capturing her tears in her hand, as her husband roams the streets and hangs out with the boys.
I cried inside for her dream! But I cried also for my craft, As ministers of the Gospel, we have been challenged by the lack of Fathers. Their absence and failure to sustain their creation, abandoning responsibility, has left a mark on our teachings, as we speak of God as our Father. Their experience in the natural mares the spiritual parrallel, thus making acceptance harder and building a relationship challenging. And now, we must present Jesus as the Bridegroom, in an environment of husbands who have not honored their covenants. Attacking the significance away from the bond that was too mirror our eternal bond with the father. Our natural bond is to bare witness not just to thr relational connection, but to model the spiritual characteristics of the Lord. I’m angry that the devil is removing our Natural to Spiritual parallels.
I was about speak up, but my voice was preceded by the group leader, who assured her that God would provide her with the man of her dreams and prayers! She assured her that God answers prayers and that in waiting, God was not just sending her a Boaz, but a Joseph, who would honor her and protect her virtue dispute any circumstances. She assured her that he would partner with her, and support her not just as she raises a family, but as she carries out the assignment that God had given her! I couldn’t wait to speak to my two girls at camp, and my three at home! I know now even more the importance of the example we set before them! Our marriage no only honors God, sets an tone for their expectations for the future. I pray that their dreams will be filled with hope, and that their expectation of marriage will be the same I expected.